Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Boys Will Be Boys (warning – rant ahead)

There is no generalisation that I despise more than “Boys will be boys”. Sure boys can be more physical than girls but is that by nature or because it is sub-consciously encouraged in boys with those personalities and discouraged early in girls if it is their innate personality. There is no suggestion that boys should sit quietly in a corner and play all day, I love nothing more than seeing both my kids running around yelling and rolling down the hill at the local park. What I am baffled by is the enabling of our boys to carry on with socially unacceptable behaviour - if fighting is not OK at 25 or 15 why do people turn a blind eye at 5. The school playground should be somewhere where kids are able to take a break and run around and freely interact with peers, not games that take the veil of ‘superhero’ games which is really code word for pushing, in your face, that with increased excitement that is so common at this age, degenerates to hitting, punching, kicking and biting and favours size and strength. Maybe I am being unfair to expect the same thing from both Poppy and Caleb? Maybe I am being unfair to expect too much from school, but my real guile is when I see his behaviour change because he thinks that it is acceptable to push your little sister or hit. So ends frustrated Mama rant. 

lucy's monster 004lucy's monster 003 Something crafty at least - Do you remember Caleb’s foray into softie making – we are still working our way through the book (in order of course). This one is Lucy’s Monster and is actually a really good one for kids to do. You draw the outline and sew around it which is much easier than worrying about seam allowances and if there is a little wonk it doesn’t really matter. I drew the outline on tracing paper so it was super clear and just tore it off once he was finished sewing.


trash said...

I hear you on this one. 'Boys will be boys' as an argument doesn't wash in my house. Ever. And if things are happening at school you might want to formally talk to someone.

Cath @ chunkychooky said...

I agree, boys will be boys should not be an excuse for antiscial behaviour... neither should being mean or 'bitchy' be "girls will be girls" either. my 3yo girl does love the rough play with boys and I encourage the running jumping, rolling down hills bit, but I find the boys she plays with also love playing dress ups and with the dolls house... any play thta is nice should be encouraged and any play thta is not nice... etc and I agree gender should not come into it but it so often does.

Tania said...

Make noise Mrs B&P. You present an argument that is rock solid. And if nothing else, school is a place where a kid should feel SAFE. xxx

Andi said...

Hear Hear!!!
Boys and girls do seem to play quite differently (at least in my house) but that doesn't excuse ANY rough (or bitchy) behaviour.
School should absolutely be a safe place for kids but so often isn't.
Maybe because the adults accept unacceptable behaviour.
What Tania said ..... make noise!!!
Then if you need to .... get yourself a glass of something therapeutic and have some time out to look after yourself.
Love Caleb's monster. Wonderfully scary.
Andi x

Stomper Girl said...

WEll said. You can just tell, can't you when a game is going to end badly. I saw some preppy boys having a delightful time hitting each other with their jumpers and within seconds 2 were crying, one of them had got a zipper in the face. If I'd been their parents I would have stopped it stat.

Green Mama said...

Great post- I too can't bear that argument. My cousins' boys (7 in total, all boys of three sisters, if that makes sense) completely trashed my house at my daughter's baptism. Their mothers all excused their behaviour with 'they're just boys', and I said 'so if they pack-rape someone when they're 15 that's ok?' and one of their mothers (my cousin) is no longer speaking to me.

Sally said...

So true Cindy.
I have been caught completely off guard by how "physical" both of my children (boy & girl) are. At times they're little thugs. Hitting, hair pulling, pinching, biting... OH MY!!! That wasn't in the huggies commercial!!!! False advertising or what?!?!?!
It is completely unacceptable behaviour ... my greatest challenge is finding the line between a fun wrestle (that my children seem to enjoy so much - including body slamming each other from the couch!?!?!) and maliciously physically hurting the other (which at this time the daughter seems to be doing most of). I swear my children did not get this from my genes... I do remember being one of those kids who liked to sit in the corner and draw and colour. What the???

Gina said...

First time I commented it got wiped so I'll just say... exactly!

And that bear is dang cute.